When I was thinking about what my first article here should contain, my immediate thought was to dive into some psychological research and ponderings (stay tuned for that). However, it struck me that it might be more logical to start at the core of things. And the core of Frøya (oh, don’t go there, you know that is not what I am talking about) is that I am a woman.
I have been called sexist of my own gender by my own gender at earlier points in my life. For what you may ask? For not calling myself a feminist. Therefore, before we get into why I am not a feminist, let me make something crystal clear: I love being a woman. I love how God made me and how He talks about women.
- She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (Prov. 31:26)
- She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. (Prov. 31:25)
- She is worth far more than rubies. (Prov. 31:10)
I also love wearing pretty dresses. I love putting on make-up and looking beautiful for my husband. What I love even more is when he prefers me without it and thinks I’m at my hottest on a Sunday morning before my coffee with bed hair and everything. I love that we are created to be mothers and caretakers, called to create a home and safe haven for those who need it. I love to read, to learn and grow wiser as I grow older.
Do I think that you have to be a woman to have these traits, no I don’t. The strengths and weaknesses in men and women overlap. These are however some of the traits predominately found in womanhood. Have I made myself clear yet? Just in case I haven’t, let me say it one more time, read it slowly. Men and women are different, but in no way or form do I think that women are worth any less than men.
And it is here me and feminism have to walk our separate ways. Because I have this super controversial thought. Buckle up. Men are equal to women. Woah, I know right, crazy times to be alive. I love men. I love their strength, their practicality, their protectiveness. I think men have some amazing virtues and I value them deeply. When me and my husband moved into our new flat about 1 month ago I tried (read: I really did try) to help him build the furniture. Sadly, let us just say that furniture building is not one of my strengths, even though most of it was IKEA. Towards the end of it my husband begged me to just go do something else like make dinner whilst he finished the dreadful task that is building an entire flat worth of furniture. In this situation I could have chosen to be offended, that he did not find me equal… or I could choose the humble way which is that we are different and we help balance out each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Where I am strong he might be weak and the other way around. Thank God for that.
However, feminism rejects that. The third-wave feminism of today is more preoccupied with rejecting femininity by encouraging women to be careless in their sex lives, to not start families by aborting their babies and to reject men and change them into someone they are not (#soyboy). Feminism today will tell you that it is wrong of you to get married, to be submissive of your husband, to try to look beautiful for him and choose a family over a career. Today’s feminism is more concerned about creating a society where women rule rather where equality thrives. Feminism of today will blame and shame men, and when then try to ask for help they will ridicule them. The hateful rhetoric feminism preaches is basically arguing for the destruction of families and making men feel like they don’t hold any value in our society. And I, Frøya, just can’t get behind that.
Much more to be said on the topic, but we’ll save that for later. For now, this is why I won’t call me a feminist even though I love being a woman.